Sunday Nights

Sometimes on Sunday nights, I have a hard time.  I think of all the things we didn't do, all the times I needed a break from what was going on around me....all the stuff we could have been doing, but didn't, for whatever reason.

Tonight is one of those nights.  I start longing for the days that my babies were actually babies.  When I could just hold them and stare at them all day and night.  And I had an excuse to not be doing anything else...holding them and loving them was more than enough to fill the hours of our day.

Neva seems so big to me, at times.  Almost grown up, sometimes.  Like today.  We were driving back from Target and she said, "Did you know that all moms and dads don't care what their children look like?  They all think their children are the most beautiful."  I asked her where she heard that and she responded that she had just been thinking it for awhile and wanted to say it.  I nearly melted right there on I-70.

She also had her first sleepover this weekend, which seems like such a big kid thing to do.  She was awesome about it.  They went right to bed without a fuss at all.  And woke up requesting pink pancakes with sprinkles.  You got it, ladies.

And then there's Oliver.  He's hysterical and so sweet at the same time.  He just kills me sometimes with how dang cute he is.  Of course, I'm biased.  He knows how to make us laugh and totally uses that to his advantage...to get out of "trouble".  But he knows how to be sweet.  If I sneeze, he says "bless you, mama".  If I'm upset, he will come over and hug me and ask me if I'm okay.  He loves to tell everyone, especially big sister, that I'm his mama.  Which may be partially to get a rise out of her.  Regardless, I love it.  And I love him.

These moments, these days.  They go so fast.  I feel like I can't hold on to them.  I write things down, but I'm also starting to forget.  It kills me.  I wish you really cold bottle that smell of your own babies when they are brand new and tiny.  I wish I could remember Neva's tiny voice from toddlerhood.  I wish for those sleepless nights when I could just hold them, nurse them and rock them for hours on end.  Okay, I don't miss all of the aspects of having a newborn, but man....I miss a lot of them.

It is so painfully joyful to watch your babies grow up.  I love everything about it.  I wouldn't trade it or them for anything in the whole wide world.

Except for maybe one hot, quiet meal.  Where I get to eat first.  

One year later

So it has officially been a year since I have written anything.  To say that life has been chaotic in the last year would be a gross understatement.  

Oliver is 2!  And quite possibly the sweetest, most handsome and funniest little man I have ever known!  We are having so much fun getting to know him.  And I have to admit that I really love this "momma's boy" phase we are in right now.  He loves to be held and snuggled and will give endless hugs and kisses, well at least to me.  He loves to make people laugh!  He has also become slightly obsessed with surfing and riding a skateboard and will pretend to do this ALL THE TIME.  It's hysterical!  I still don't have a clue where that blond hair and blue eyes came from...but he sure gets what he wants with those big baby blues!

He sure does love his Bob Marley shirt!

Neva has had an awesome summer attending Beyond the Bell camp, taking tennis lessons and getting a super sweet tan...how I miss those days!  She just started first grade (gasp!!) and is beyond excited to be SO big!  She will be turning 6 in a few weeks and just can hardly stand that her birthday is taking SO LONG to get here!  She loves making art, writing, reading, playing with any kind of doll, dressing up, dancing and singing.  She's in a camp at the local Center for the Arts on Fridays and I can't wait to see what new arts she falls in love with!  So far, clay is the winner!

She loves her sponge rollers...

All ready for her 1st day!

I recently turned 35 and it makes me want to throw up!  I have enjoyed the big birthdays up until this point, but this one is proving to be a challenge to swallow.  I am aware of every single wrinkle that is making it's way on to my face.  I am aware of all the sagging and drooping that is starting to occur, regardless of how hard I work my body to keep things tight(ish) and off the ground.  

I look at my growing, thriving, beautiful kids and realize that they are not babies anymore.  And if they are getting older, that means I am also getting older.  Time is just going way too fast...and sometimes it is really hard to remind myself to slow down and enjoy it.  With the insanity of all that goes on during the regular day-to-day, I often lose sight of what is really important.  But man, those kids are it!  And I love them more than I ever imagined!