Our First Easter

I couldn't figure out why I couldn't get into the Easter spirit...then I realized it was because usually Neva and I are home without Eric.  Unfortunately, he still works on the weekends....luckily, it's not on Sunday anymore.

Last night, Neva asked me about Easter.  I try to be gentle, yet honest...

In a nut shell, it went something like this.... 

Me:  Do you know why we're celebrating Easter?  Well, Neva...some mean guys thought that Jesus was lying about who he was so they hung him on the cross.  He died so that our sins, all the mean or naughty things that we do, would be forgiven.  3 days after he died, he rose again.

N:  Mom, I don't like bad guys.

Me:  Me neither, Neva.  I like good guys, like Jesus.

N:  Yea, like Spiderman.

Me:  Yep, Spiderman is a good guy.  But Jesus is like the ultimate good guy.

N:  Where does Jesus live, Mom?

Me:  He lives above the clouds, in a place called Heaven.

N:  I can't see him.

Me:  No, we can't see him.  But he's always with us.  You can talk to him anytime you need to.  If you feel scared, you can ask him to help you feel safe.  If you feel sad, you can talk to him about feeling better.  You can say sorry and ask forgiveness when we are mean to our friends.  And he's always with you, in your heart.

N:  He's in my heart?  I can feel him there!!

We put our hands over her heart and felt it beating. 

N:  That's Jesus, Mom!  He lives in my heart!  In my boobies!!!

Yep, that's our girl.  I love her to pieces.

Losing Interest...

I think I lost a lot of readers when I took a hiatus from writing on here for a bit.  My last post was read by a total of 3 people...the one before that?  19.

I had big dreams of being one of those blogs that really took off.  Others who blog may be aware of momastery of Mama Laughlin...both who have thousands of followers at this point and always have something clever to say, or a cause that they are promoting, hosting giveaways, inspiring people...and what not.  That hasn't worked out for me so far...at least not yet.

I always think I have something interesting to say, but once it gets down on paper....it usually ends up sounding rather boring or lame.  I've never been much of a writer, but I thought I'd give it a whirl when I started this blog.

I thought that pregnancy, infancy, toddler hood would all give me earth-shattering things to discuss here in blog land.  Turns out life is just more chaotic and the amazing things that fill my days are really of little interest to others.  I see that when I tell the millionth story of what Neva is up to or when only 3 people check in to see what I have to say.

Funny how what is so important to me, is so boring to someone else.  How do you not find the hilarity in Neva demanding to change dresses before leaving the house yesterday because she wanted one that "twirled more"?  How can you not understand how exhausting it is to negotiate with a 2-year-old about taking the insane amount of antibiotics that we have to give her right now to fight an ear infection?  I mean, seriously, bribing her with chocolate at 7:00 in the morning doesn't sound ridiculous to anyone else?

I love my life.  Crazy as it may be.  It makes me happy.  It's exhausting and chaotic and never goes quite as planned.  But I find it hilarious and amazing all at the same time.

But...I've learned that people don't necessarily want to hear about the daily happenings in the Brotherson household.  They want something monumental, something that we could potentially argue and debate about.....something more.

So, I'm working on it.....and I'll be back.

Time

Over the past few months, it seems as though I have completely lost track of time...and have just not been able to keep up.  There are days that I feel I'm barely keeping my head above water...

Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I am currently working 3 jobs and trying to be a good Mom on top of that.  Some days it all feels too much, but we've gotta do what we've gotta do.

Most days, there just aren't enough hours.  Not enough time to get in the exercise I desperately need, not enough time to snuggle and love on Neva as much as I would like, not enough time to get all of the work done that is needed...just not enough time.

So, of course, it seems to be the most appropriate time to increase my workload at my "real" job.  I'm not sure how in the world I'll have time for this.

And then there's this big upcoming belly dance performance.  I need to finish the choreography...and practice...and work on costuming...and prepare for the next session of classes.

In the meantime, I feel like I'm missing out on so much of Neva's toddler-hood.  I thought having a small baby was tons of fun, but having a toddler is even more fun.  Don't get me wrong, it's a lot of work and there is a lot of attitude in her 36 inches....but it is SO much fun.  I really need to figure out how to get paid to be a stay at home mom.  I know that is a lot of work, too...but it would make my heart so happy.

I mean, look at this kid...

At Mom's office

Fun at the park

Obviously the rug is the best blanket

Ready for her "Princess Party" a.k.a. watching the Oscars

Playing her banjo