Monday, August 10, 2015

This is HARD

We are prepping for a new adventure at the Brotherson household and I am finding it harder than I ever imagined.

Little Miss Neva starts kindergarten next week.  

Where in the world did the last five years go?  How are we here already?

We've bought back to school supplies and our back to school shoes.  We've walked to the school to see the posted list and find out who her teacher will be.  We've scheduled a trip to do a little clothes shopping so that she can feel confident in her new duds on her first day of school.

I've had lots of "moments" over the past few days where I just start crying.  I cannot believe my sweet baby girl is heading to kindergarten.  I know she's ready.  I'm just not sure I am.  

I'm trying to think back through the past 5 years....did I do enough?  

Did we play enough?  

Did I hug and kiss you enough?

Have I told you that I love you enough?  

Did we have enough Mommy and Neva time? 

Did we cuddle enough?

Will these precious first years ever feel like they lasted long enough?  

The newborn phase is long behind us.  Yet I remember it like it was yesterday.  Holding you for the first time was one of the best moments of my life.  You were the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen.  I will never forget your sweet dimples that have now faded, your dark brown hair that has been lightened by the sun and the sweetest little baby sounds ever.  You grew quickly into infancy and into toddlerhood.  Right before my very eyes, yet I hardly noticed.  You are no longer my baby and you are on your way to a brand new adventure!

I cannot believe that we are here and next week you will be starting kindergarten.  

Where's that slow-mo button for real life? 

I'm struggling.

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