Waiting...

I didn't think we would be going past our due date and waiting for this baby to arrive!  I kind of thought I might be able to catch a break this time around since Neva was so late!!

This is a hard place to be, for me.  Not making a lot of plans because you just never know what might happen.  And I've been having tons of contractions for the last week, so it always seems like it COULD be time and then everything stops.  I was so convinced this baby was coming last week, that we called my sister to start making the trek over.  Now I'm worried that she'll have to go home before this baby arrives and I've wasted tons of her time! 

Today, I'm also struggling mentally.  I don't know why, but having tons of doubts about myself....  Can I handle a natural childbirth again?  Will this labor last for 24+ hours?  I got so worked up about it at work today that I got hot and sweaty, felt my blood pressure go up, even got a little light-headed....and have cried several times.  Self doubt is a nasty, nasty thing. 

I knew today would be a challenge at work.  Now that I'm officially past my due date, I get to listen to everyone's ridiculous comments continue.  Yes, I'm still here.  Yes, I'm still pregnant.  Yes, I'm going to keep showing up every day until this baby arrives because our maternity plan sucks and I only have 2.5 weeks of unpaid time off.  So sorry that my presence is annoying to you....the feeling is starting to become mutual!

In the meantime, I'm enjoying lots of walking and hiking, spending time with my family including Momo, Aunt Mandy, Elliott and Drew.  It's fun (and a bit challenging) to watch Neva and Elliott play together and knowing that soon this baby and Drew will likely have a similar relationship!  We'll just have to see if Drew will have a boy to play with or a little girl!

Here we are at 40 weeks, getting ready to hike up a mountain.

 Being princess Anna.

Absolutely exhausted after a weekend with cousins!

Why wouldn't you wear your ballerina clothes to the park?

39+3

How in the world did we get to this point?  How are we past the 39 week mark and really just waiting, waiting for this little person to enter our lives?

Funny how quickly 9 FULL months can go by so slowly...and so quickly at the same time.  And now we just have to sit and wait until this little one is ready to make his/her appearance.

This is such an interesting time for me....  So much anticipation and excitement, yet some fear, too.  Will this labor be hard?  Will Neva adjust okay?  Am I going to be able to handle 2 children?  How is it all going to go?  It's an exciting yet scary place to be, for me.  That business of forgetting what childbirth is like has not been true for me.  I remember it quite vividly and am sure that's why I'm feeling nervous this time around.  Yes, I know I can do it.  I don't have a choice!  But I would prefer it to be easier and shorter this time around.  I want to be less afraid, more calm, more confident this time.  I want Neva to witness this experience and think, "My mom is a bad ass!"

I'm trying to savor every single cuddle with my big girl and trying to wrap my head around sharing my attention with another little human.  We had a small issue this weekend around snuggling with one of our cats.  There's just not much room on my lap these days, so I informed the cat that I could not snuggle.  Neva was convinced I was talking to her and burst into tears.  Nearly broke my heart...  "You don't want to snuggle me, Mom?"  "You couldn't stay like this forever?"  It took a good 10 minutes of explaining that I was talking to the cat and not to her, that I'll always want to snuggle her even if she has to share my lap with the new baby....I will ALWAYS have time and room to snuggle her.  My little sensitive girl....I hope this adjustment goes smoothly! 

I am ready to be done with work!  One day of pain and hard work, for a six week vacation!  :)  Really, I'm just tired of the silly comments!  Today, a co-worker came into my office to see if I was still here and just sighed, then turned around and left.  Yesterday, someone said, "Would you just pop already?"  Sorry that my presence is bothering you, I'll be sure to let my growing child know that!  People are so odd sometimes! 

So, we are anxiously/impatiently waiting.  Lots of walking and trying to keep our minds occupied right now.  Our pantry is full, the fridge is bursting, the freezer and the deep freezer can absolutely not hold another ounce of food.  The birth team is coming together....Momo is here and Aunt Mandy is just a phone call away.  At my appointment yesterday I was 40-50% effaced and 2cm dilated.  So, we're getting there.  Slowly but surely.  And I'll take all the progress that happens without me even knowing!

See you soon, baby!

 

38.5 weeks

Holy moly....we are in the home stretch now!

And this baby has flipped!!!!  Did lots of walking, homeopathic remedies and some acupuncture and this little one just turned right back around!  Now to keep it head down....

Funny how hard last week was, trying to wrap my head around the possibility of having a C-section.  And now, here I am, trying to wrap my head around an all-natural birth once again.  I know I can do it.  I know it will be different than it was last time.  I know at the end, I'll be so grateful and proud that I did it "my way" once again.  I can do anything for one minute...and thank goodness those contractions usually only last one minute at a time! 

The house is cleaned, the carseat bases are installed, the bassinet is set up, the freezers are stocked with premade meals....just waiting on this baby to arrive.  I'm ready when you are baby, but can we please not wait 10 additional days like your sister did? 

I'm feeling pretty good for this late in the game!  Sleeping is getting a little bit more difficult as my hands fall asleep very easily on the side that I am sleeping on.  Heartburn is finally starting to make a nasty appearance and seems to be present, no matter what I eat!  Still exercising on almost a daily basis, which I swear helps...and teaching belly dance classes, too! 

Just waiting on the final detail....that sweet little babe!