11 weeks

Our little man is almost 3 months old!!!!  Time is FLYING!

He loves to sleep!  During the day he is awake for about 2 hours max!  It's nice to have such an easygoing newborn, but makes me feel like I don't get much of a chance to know him!  He also sleeps great at night, waking 1-2 times each night.  And he's so quick to eat, that it only takes about 20 minutes!  Amazing!

He has found his voice and loves to scream!  We went to a parade on Saturday and he screamed the entire time!  He is happy as a clam when he does this, it's hysterical!

He is enjoying tummy time more and more everyday!  It's so sweet to watch him and Neva do some tummy time together...again, she's an awesome helper!

He is also doing great with holding his head up and is becoming less and less of a bobble head!  He really doesn't need help with his head at all these days!  Strong little guy to hold up such a big head!

He has started to bat at some toys and especially loves the squirrel and raccoon on one of his bouncy chairs.  We also received a mobile that you can clip onto chairs and car seats...he loves this!  And yells at it while he's playing with it!

He is a very happy and easy-going kid.  He only gets mad when he is tired!  He usually wakes up by squawking or screaming, and very rarely will he resort to crying.  It is pretty unbelievable! 

 

 

Four!

I cannot believe that my baby girl has turned FOUR!  Where in the world is the time goin?!?!?

I have been a mess of emotions this past week...both of my babies are in daycare full time,  I miss them terribly all day, every day.

The school year has started and Neva is in her last year of preschool! Her first day back was apparently not great. When I picked her up last Wednesday and asked how her day was, she responded, "I don't want to talk about it."  That will rip a mama's heart into a million pieces.  She went on to tell me later that nobody wanted to play with her and that someone pushed her.  Not how you want the school year to start!

And last Thursday, she turned four.  I don't even know how that's possible. It still feels like she was just joining our family.  And at the same time it feels like she will be moving out any minute.  She is getting so big and it's happening so fast.

I have been having a very hard time with all of this recently.  I feel like time is just slipping and all these precious moments are going by so quickly.  I feel like I didn't enjoy her infancy as much as I should have, as it was just so hard to adjust to bringing a baby into the world.  I am just feeling lots of regret and absolutely heartbroken that my baby isn't going to be a baby for much longer.

She's becoming a daddy's girl. It's so sweet to watch and to hear her say that she's going to marry her daddy when she gets bigger is just too damn cute.  But I also miss the days where I was the center of her universe.  She is able to play by herself very well and for very long periods of time.  She just doesn't need me as much anymore.  It's so hard.

I miss her littleness.  I miss her snuggles in the middle of the night that comes along with having a small baby.  Things are changing and I'm having a hard time adjusting.

But my big girl is four!  And while it is hard, I know that it also comes with all sorts of new adventures for us!  More dance classes and other hobbies will start soon.  She's old enough to really do stuff with, which is fun!  She and I have talked about going to get pedicures....we're just going to have to go do it SOON!

She is hysterically funny right now, which is awesome!  She loves to tell knock-knock jokes and even knows a few funny ones!  She has the most amazing imagination I have EVER seen.  She can keep herself entertained for long periods of time...I have never seen anything like it!!! 

She is an amazing helper!  She loves to clean with us, especially the doors and windows!  And she is amazing at helping with her little brother.  She will always grab a diaper or a burp rag...or whatever else may be needed.

She is just one amazing child and I can't wait to see what comes next in her life!!!!

Returning

I have officially returned to work. 

And it blows.

I'm so grateful that I get to bring Oliver with me for a little while, but man....I miss that little girl SO much.

Being back at work today comes with gobs of regret.  I feel, in some ways, I wasted my maternity leave.  But the regrets aren't coming from my time with Oliver.  It's his sweet big sister.

I regret not waking her up to see her brother being born.  It was 3am and I wasn't thinking too clearly...but I'll probably regret that one forever.

I regret every single time I logged on to my computer to check emails, do a little work, whatever.

I regret every time I got on my phone to check facebook, emails, texts, etc.

I regret every time I told her to wait because I was doing any of the above...or a million other things.

I regret not playing dollhouse every time she asked me to.

I regret not spending more time outside, as I often felt I had my hands SO full.

I regret being terrified of leaving the house with 2 kids and not doing more fun stuff.

I regret the times I asked her to move away because she was just hanging on me after I'd had a newborn attached to me all morning. 

I'd kill to have her hanging on me right now. 

But...I am so grateful, too.

I am grateful for all of the additional snuggles during a morning cartoon or an afternoon movie.

I am grateful for all of the princesses and fairies that we colored together.  And the letters and numbers we practiced.

I am grateful for all the time we spent cooking together.

I am grateful for the days we did nothing but snuggle and stayed in our jammies until noon.

I am grateful for the endless number of books we read, day in and day out.

I am grateful for the picnic lunches and the special lunches on the couch.

I am grateful for the huge smiles I got when we did play dollhouse or doctor or cheerleader or outside or barbies or playdough or painting.

I am so grateful that I got another 7 weeks at home with my little girl who is just getting bigger every single day. 

We had so much fun together. 

And today my heart is just breaking.  I'm so sad this summer and my maternity leave have come to an end. 

I love you both so much, Neva and Oliver.  Always have.  Always will.

Photos

Sunday evening, June 22....early in the process.

In the tub...baby's coming...

My focal point...and best partner ever.

He's here!

 

Big sister!

Family of four!  Don't mind my weird face...

Daddy cutting the cord

Weighing in on the fish scale.  And Neva checking out boy parts, perhaps?

Sweet baby boy...

Just a few minutes old...

Exhausted and proud big sister...

Loving on her brother...

Oliver Wade Brotherson

I was beginning to think he was never going to be born!  I was devastated when our due date came and went. Especially since my sister was here, as I thought I was in labor about one million times.  I knew the clock was ticking and she would not be able to stay in Colorado waiting for this baby to be born.

We enjoyed a week with my mom, my sister, my niece and nephew here. But this baby still wasn't coming.  I would time contractions for hours on end....and then they would just stop. I was beyond frustrated.  I would spend hours on the phone with our midwife, convinced I couldn't wait any longer or that I couldn't have another natural birth.  I did several PTSD clearings with my sweet friend, Aarin, as Neva's labor had been extremely challenging for me.  And still waiting.  I knew as that week came to an end my sister was going to have to leave and I was heartbroken. My birth team was not all going to be there....

My sister and her kids left Saturday afternoon.  Sunday morning I woke up and was still pregnant. I was having  a hard time. I did another clearing with Aarin.  I spoke with Julianne for nearly an hour.  Discussing the option of going to he hospital, as I was sure I couldn't do it.  I felt so much better after both of those conversations.  My mom, Neva and I decided to hit our local festival, Strawberry Days. We walked and walked and walked.  I was having some contractions but nothing big and I wasn't even going to bother timing them!  Eventually we headed home and Eric was there waiting for us, as he knew I was having a hard day.


We ate dinner, well everyone else did.  I just didn't feel like it.  I ate some noodles with Parmesan cheese...but not much.  We went for a walk and the contractions started to pick up.  They were coming about every three minutes. Again I thought nothing of it, as this had happened so many times before.  Eric offered to put Neva to bed and my mom and I went to get a movie. We were in the car for less an 10 minutes and I had two HUGE contractions. It was hard to drive through them.  We watched the movie and the contractions continued. I sat on the exercise ball, reading my affirmation cards and eventually needed Eric to push in my lower back to get through the contraction.  We eventually called Julianne and gave her a heads up, but cautioned that they may just fizzle out as they had so many times before.  They didn't let up this time.

I forced everyone to go to bed to try to get some rest as I was pretty sure this baby would be coming sometime in the next 24 hours.  I decided to get in he shower to see what happened.  The contractions intensified significantly. I tried to get some sleep after my shower, but could not ignore these contractions. They were getting more intense every minute.  I informed Eric we should call the midwife. 

We called Julianne to let her know what was happening, went downstairs around 12:30 and started to get the house ready.  Moving some furniture out of the way, setting up the tub, getting the music going, etc.  At this point, I couldn't get through a contraction without some help.  My mom and Eric took turns applying pressure to my low back.  I continued to read my affirmation cards.  Bella, our cat, wouldn't leave my side and would occasionally give me a reassuring lick on my head or hand.

Julianne and her assistant, Zuleika, arrived around 1:30 and things were intense.  The contractions had increased and were coming frequently.  They hustled to get everything set up and the tub filled so that I could get in and have a bit of relief!  Soon after their arrival, around 2:00am, I felt something happening.  My bloody show.  It surprised me as that didn't happen with Neva.  Soon after that, the tub was full and cool enough that I could finally get in.  Julianne warned me that if I wasn't in labor or if it was really early, water could slow everything down.  One HUGE contraction later, I think she knew it was close to go time.

At 2:15am the contractions are lasting about 1 minute and are approximately 1 minute apart.  All in my back and apparently pushing against my tailbone?!?!  At about 2:19am (thanks for the notes, Mom!), his head was starting to show to Julianne. Shortly after this, about 2:30am, my water broke.  There was meconium present, but that was apparently fine because he was coming right away!!

The details from here on out are a bit foggy as things we're getting pretty intense.  With Neva, at this point, I had my eyes closed pretty much the entire time.  For some reason, I had to look Eric straight in the eyes to get through each and every contraction.  All the pain was in my back, which I was hoping to not experience this time.  Eric was not in the tub this time either, as I felt like I really needed him to hold on to. I was on my knees facing Eric most of the time, but shortly after getting in the tub Julianne told me to change positions as he seemed to be stuck and pushing against my tailbone.  Begrudgingly, I changed positions and leaned back into a more seated position with Eric right behind me.

Very quickly after changing positions and a few more contractions, his head was coming out and Julianne commented on how the two of us could have made a blond baby!  Funny since Neva was dark haired and dark skinned from the get go!  As he was crowning (sorry, TMI) there is a picture of the meconium coming out....I'll refrain from posting that picture on the blog!  A few more pushes and HE was here...at 3:07am. 

My mom went and got Neva out of bed to meet her BROTHER!  How she slept through all of thought is still a mystery to me!  But she was so excited and her reaction was absolutely priceless!!!  She still has never said anything about being disappointed that she didn't get a little sister!

He was suctioned, due to the meconium, and that was quickly taken care of!  He also received some free flowing oxygen to get him going.  Everyone was commenting on how huge he was at 8 pounds 4 ounces and 20 inches long.  I tell you, people in the mountains have some tiny babies!

We nursed and bonded and got to know our sweet little boy on the couch in our living room.  We had enchiladas at 6:00am (or something like that!) that I had made weeks before his arrival.  His labor was so short that they didn't even have time to thaw out!

Early on in my labor, I remember thinking, "This will all be over in about 24 hours" as Neva's labor had taken that long.  I was pleasantly surprised that it went much faster this time around.  It wasn't more painful, but surprising that things progressed and happened so quickly.  I recall saying one time that I couldn't do this.  Julianne was right there to remind me that I already was doing it and that it was almost done.  She truly was amazing.

We have been enjoying every second of this mellow little man's life ever since!  He has made our family complete and we are so glad that he is here!

Waiting...

I didn't think we would be going past our due date and waiting for this baby to arrive!  I kind of thought I might be able to catch a break this time around since Neva was so late!!

This is a hard place to be, for me.  Not making a lot of plans because you just never know what might happen.  And I've been having tons of contractions for the last week, so it always seems like it COULD be time and then everything stops.  I was so convinced this baby was coming last week, that we called my sister to start making the trek over.  Now I'm worried that she'll have to go home before this baby arrives and I've wasted tons of her time! 

Today, I'm also struggling mentally.  I don't know why, but having tons of doubts about myself....  Can I handle a natural childbirth again?  Will this labor last for 24+ hours?  I got so worked up about it at work today that I got hot and sweaty, felt my blood pressure go up, even got a little light-headed....and have cried several times.  Self doubt is a nasty, nasty thing. 

I knew today would be a challenge at work.  Now that I'm officially past my due date, I get to listen to everyone's ridiculous comments continue.  Yes, I'm still here.  Yes, I'm still pregnant.  Yes, I'm going to keep showing up every day until this baby arrives because our maternity plan sucks and I only have 2.5 weeks of unpaid time off.  So sorry that my presence is annoying to you....the feeling is starting to become mutual!

In the meantime, I'm enjoying lots of walking and hiking, spending time with my family including Momo, Aunt Mandy, Elliott and Drew.  It's fun (and a bit challenging) to watch Neva and Elliott play together and knowing that soon this baby and Drew will likely have a similar relationship!  We'll just have to see if Drew will have a boy to play with or a little girl!

Here we are at 40 weeks, getting ready to hike up a mountain.

 Being princess Anna.

Absolutely exhausted after a weekend with cousins!

Why wouldn't you wear your ballerina clothes to the park?

39+3

How in the world did we get to this point?  How are we past the 39 week mark and really just waiting, waiting for this little person to enter our lives?

Funny how quickly 9 FULL months can go by so slowly...and so quickly at the same time.  And now we just have to sit and wait until this little one is ready to make his/her appearance.

This is such an interesting time for me....  So much anticipation and excitement, yet some fear, too.  Will this labor be hard?  Will Neva adjust okay?  Am I going to be able to handle 2 children?  How is it all going to go?  It's an exciting yet scary place to be, for me.  That business of forgetting what childbirth is like has not been true for me.  I remember it quite vividly and am sure that's why I'm feeling nervous this time around.  Yes, I know I can do it.  I don't have a choice!  But I would prefer it to be easier and shorter this time around.  I want to be less afraid, more calm, more confident this time.  I want Neva to witness this experience and think, "My mom is a bad ass!"

I'm trying to savor every single cuddle with my big girl and trying to wrap my head around sharing my attention with another little human.  We had a small issue this weekend around snuggling with one of our cats.  There's just not much room on my lap these days, so I informed the cat that I could not snuggle.  Neva was convinced I was talking to her and burst into tears.  Nearly broke my heart...  "You don't want to snuggle me, Mom?"  "You couldn't stay like this forever?"  It took a good 10 minutes of explaining that I was talking to the cat and not to her, that I'll always want to snuggle her even if she has to share my lap with the new baby....I will ALWAYS have time and room to snuggle her.  My little sensitive girl....I hope this adjustment goes smoothly! 

I am ready to be done with work!  One day of pain and hard work, for a six week vacation!  :)  Really, I'm just tired of the silly comments!  Today, a co-worker came into my office to see if I was still here and just sighed, then turned around and left.  Yesterday, someone said, "Would you just pop already?"  Sorry that my presence is bothering you, I'll be sure to let my growing child know that!  People are so odd sometimes! 

So, we are anxiously/impatiently waiting.  Lots of walking and trying to keep our minds occupied right now.  Our pantry is full, the fridge is bursting, the freezer and the deep freezer can absolutely not hold another ounce of food.  The birth team is coming together....Momo is here and Aunt Mandy is just a phone call away.  At my appointment yesterday I was 40-50% effaced and 2cm dilated.  So, we're getting there.  Slowly but surely.  And I'll take all the progress that happens without me even knowing!

See you soon, baby!

 

38.5 weeks

Holy moly....we are in the home stretch now!

And this baby has flipped!!!!  Did lots of walking, homeopathic remedies and some acupuncture and this little one just turned right back around!  Now to keep it head down....

Funny how hard last week was, trying to wrap my head around the possibility of having a C-section.  And now, here I am, trying to wrap my head around an all-natural birth once again.  I know I can do it.  I know it will be different than it was last time.  I know at the end, I'll be so grateful and proud that I did it "my way" once again.  I can do anything for one minute...and thank goodness those contractions usually only last one minute at a time! 

The house is cleaned, the carseat bases are installed, the bassinet is set up, the freezers are stocked with premade meals....just waiting on this baby to arrive.  I'm ready when you are baby, but can we please not wait 10 additional days like your sister did? 

I'm feeling pretty good for this late in the game!  Sleeping is getting a little bit more difficult as my hands fall asleep very easily on the side that I am sleeping on.  Heartburn is finally starting to make a nasty appearance and seems to be present, no matter what I eat!  Still exercising on almost a daily basis, which I swear helps...and teaching belly dance classes, too! 

Just waiting on the final detail....that sweet little babe! 

 

Premonition...

Or just a coincidence?

Last week I had a dream that is now standing out so vividly.

Neva and I were desperately trying to get me to a college exam.  (Why, oh why, do I still have those dreams?!?)  En route to said exam, we bumped into a few people we knew.  We'd stop and chat and talk about the pregnancy and the new baby.

But what makes this stand out is that during my conversations with people you could see an entire leg sticking out of my stomach, still below the skin, and right below my belly button.  There was also a flap that could be pulled down, at the top of my belly, and we could look in on the baby. 

When I woke, I remember thinking that had been one of the more strange dreams I've had during the pregnancy.

But I have to wonder...did I somehow know that this baby had flipped and was now sitting breech?  Does the opening flap mean that I knew (deep, deep down on some other level) that this baby would be delivered by c-section? 

We're still trying to get this baby to flip on it's own and hoping for a natural home birth, but also trying to wrap our heads around the fact that this birth may look very different from what we had planned.

Flippin' Babies

So here we are with only 18 days to go.

And this baby has decided to flip and is now in a breech position. 

This baby has been head down for MONTHS.  And s/he chooses NOW to change it around? 

Way to stress a mama out.

We are trying some natural things to get this wee one back in a head down position.  Homeopathic remedies, lying on an angled ironing board to make some more room, lots of hiking, swimming, acupuncture, chiropractic adjustment, etc.

Going to be a busy week, making time for most of the items mentioned above...some of them are to happen multiple times in a day.

It's been hard to wrap my head around another natural childbirth, but throw around the word C-section...and that's a whole different ball game.  And another option to try to wrap your head around.

Come on, baby.  Get that head back down.

One month...

My "due date" is officially one month from today.  We are into month 9 of this pregnancy, with only 31 days left.  I'm secretly hoping it will be a few days less than that, but I will be patient!

I can't believe we are so close to being done with this pregnancy.  In some ways it seems to drag on and on and on.  And in other ways, it just flies by!  And SOON, we'll be snuggling this sweet little bundle and not remembering anything of the last 9 months!

I'm starting to get anxious and nervous for labor and delivery.  I've done it before and know I can do it again....but I haven't forgotten the first time.  I remember being so scared.  Scared about how long it was taking.  Scared about the amount of pain.  Just all around scared.

I've been trying to prep myself for this to all happen again, but it's proving to be difficult to wrap my head around.  I remember the scary moments from Neva's birth and the things that I said out of fear.  BUT I also remember the moment she was born and how all of the fear and pain seemed to wash away with that final push.  Those endorphins are amazing!

I really can't wait to see who this little person is!  A boy or a girl?  An extrovert like big sister or a little more reserved?  Talking at 9 months and not walking until 13 months?  Or vice versa?  Brown eyes?  Brown hair?  I just can't wait to meet this baby!

I had one of the rudest comments this morning.  As I walked into my office, one of my co-workers actually started laughing at me.  I asked what was so funny and she responded, "Nothing".  I probably should have left it that, but I didn't.  I asked again and she responded, "You're just getting SO big!"  These comments never stop amazing me.  Mostly because if I were to just pop off and say that to someone, it would be considered extremely rude.  However, since I am SO pregnant, it's okay to just say whatever floats your boat! 

Here's a pic of us today....please don't mind the work bathroom selfie! 

 

I Would NEVER Do What You're Doing

Those words were said to me just a few short weeks ago.  "I would never do what you're doing"....

This person was involved in a birth that didn't go according to plan.  Due to this situation being scary to them, I'm the one who is making bad choices.  And they let me know how they felt about it.  Which is fine.  I had plenty of that the first time around. 

I still just don't understand why saying anything and everything that comes into one's mind is okay to say out loud.  Another example?  I've been told how huge I am 4 times this week (but who's counting, right?).  I know I'm big.  I only have 5 weeks until this baby is due.  That's what happens.  I grow a human, my body grows to accommodate.

I even had a woman tell me, after talking about some of these ridiculous comments, that she doesn't know what to say to pregnant women.  Followed by her telling me that I look "normal" with a little extra padding.  Pretty sure that's NOT the most appropriate thing to say to a woman in her 8th month of pregnancy.

Or maybe it's just me.  Maybe other women don't mind being told how huge or ridiculous they look.  But I'm guessing that if I fired back to anyone who said anything inappropriate to me, they would be appalled...and I would be the bad guy.

Tact.  Seems like people are lacking a lot of it these days!!  I'm happy to have a conversation with people about their choices and my choices.  But I'm not interested in just putting up with your crap!

In other news, we are officially 35 weeks tomorrow!  2 more weeks and we can have this baby at home!!  We had an appointment on Monday afternoon and everything is going well!  Baby's head is down and heart rate was in the 130s.  My blood pressure was great, but my pulse was high (read: too much stress!)

And look at this little gem.  I LOVE that Neva gets included in our appointments!  And Julianne does this EVERY single time we go to her office.

 

 

She is beyond excited to be a big sister!  She loves to talk about all of the things that she is going to teach the new baby.  Sometimes it's pretty entertaining what she comes up with!

 

Right now she wants to name the baby Cinderella if it's a girl and Gus Gus if it's a boy.  Glad that she's at least moved on from wanting to name her/him Neva! 

 

She is the most amazing thing in the entire world!  Hard to imagine that we'll think the same of another child in just a few short weeks!  I can't wait to see who this little person is!

 

75 days!

Only 75 days to go until this wee one makes his/her arrival! 

Can't believe that's all the time left for this pregnancy...it has gone so fast!  Likely because we're chasing a toddler around all day long now!

It feels like nothing is really ready yet....with Neva we were all set by 5 months or so!  But we have all the basics, and I've learned, that you don't really need the rest! 

We've ordered cloth diapers for this kiddo, but that was about it on our "must buy" list.  So....maybe we're more ready than I thought?!?!

I'm feeling well.  Measuring right on track, but feeling very large!  Still exercising on an almost daily basis and eating as well as I can (or want to!)

Neva talks to my tummy every day and often sticks a baby up her shirt and will deliver them!  And they always come out head first!  I have no idea where she picked that up, a book perhaps, but that little lady is definitely prepared for when the time comes!  She also loves to talk about why I'm going to roar like a lion when the baby is being born.... 

Can't believe we're almost done!  Can't wait to meet this little person!

March

I had a thought this weekend.  March should be looking a lot different for our family....but it is not.

We were supposed to be welcoming a new baby into our home in the next few weeks.  But things don't always work out as you had planned.

I can't decide how I feel about this realization.  I'm not necessarily saddened by thinking about it,  more that it's just weird to think about where I am in this pregnancy and where I thought I would be when I found out I was pregnant last July. 

Clearly, our timing wasn't right.  There is some reason that we were meant to have THIS baby joining our family in June, rather than the baby that we lost joining our family in March.  It's strange to think about what that reasoning might be, but I have to believe it is for the best. 

Maybe it's because I only have 62 hours of leave time....and a week and a half just isn't enough for maternity leave.

Maybe it's because we needed to be in Kansas several times already this year and that would have been much more difficult if I had been 8 or 9 months pregnant.

Maybe it's because I'm going to need this baby to make my 33rd birthday the best one I've had yet.  Although I'd really rather not be 2 weeks late and in labor on my birthday.  Just putting that out there.

As I said, I don't know the reason, but I'm sure there is one.  I'm not sure how to feel right now, but I will move past it and I will be ready to welcome this June baby with wide open arms.

And this one....she's ready to be a big sister, that's for sure.  She LOVES to read books to anyone who will listen!  And who better than a brand new baby? 

 

Pregnancy Weight Gain & Fitness

I swore this time around, I wasn't going to get as big as I did last time. 

That hasn't worked out too swell.

I'm blaming that partially on the progesterone supplements, which made me feel awful and also made me put on a good 10 pounds pretty much when I swallowed that first blasted pill.

I've been exercising daily, sometimes twice a day, and still have put on quite a bit a weight and feel a little large.  With Neva, I exercised, but nothing like I have been this time.  And I ate ALL THE FOODS.  I took pregnancy as a free pass to eat whatever I wanted!  I'm making much more of an effort to eat healthy...getting lots of proteins, veggies and fruits in on a daily basis.  Believe me, I'm not perfect.  But I've been trying a lot harder this time.  Hopefully giving up sweets for Lent will help a little bit, too!

I know this is a struggle for a lot of women.  It's hard to watch your body do all this crazy stuff that is seemingly out of your control.  But...I'm pretty sure it's 100% out of your control.  It's not just the belly that grows.  It's the arms, the hips, the thighs....anywhere your body could possibly store some fat, it seems to happen when you are pregnant. 

And it's hard to not compare yourself to that one gal who only gained 15 pounds and left the hospital only 5 pounds over her pre-pregnancy weight and in her regular clothes.  That doesn't happen to everyone....some of us live in maternity clothes for a few weeks or months after the baby gets here.  That's real life.

Yes, you can make healthy eating choices and exercise regularly.  But your body is going to do whatever it needs/wants to do to make a healthy environment for this little person to grow.  You might only gain 15 pounds, but you might gain 50 pounds. 

During this pregnancy and my pregnancy with Neva, I received many inappropriate comments.  I've been told that I "just keep getting bigger and bigger".  Yep, that happens when you're growing a HUMAN in your belly.  I've already been told that I'm waddling...and that was probably about 10 weeks ago!  Seriously?  "You're still growing" has also been thrown out there this time around.  I seriously don't understand where people get the balls to say these things! 

I think it could be fun to go through life without a filter, but guessing it would hurt a lot of people's feelings!  I think I'll stick with the good ol' rule, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it!"

 

Princesses

This has been on my mind lately, as I keep hearing reasons why I shouldn't call my daughter a princess or why she shouldn't be allowed to play with princesses.  I have to admit, though, my little lady LOVES her some princesses.  We don't know how it started or where it came from, but it seems to be just ingrained in who she is.  I mean, we didn't even have cable until December, so it's not like she was sitting in front of princess shows for the first 3+ years of her life.  She just loves some princesses.



And she doesn't care who they are...Sleeping Booty, Snow White, Sofia the First, Belle, Ariel, Rapunzel, Cinderella...you get the picture.  She's currently trying to decide which princess she might want to be for Halloween next year.  And which co-star her little brother or sister can be. 



We don't call her a princess.  And I can sort of get that part of the argument.  However, my name actually means princess, so I'm not sure why people aren't calling me that more often.  But I digress.  We try to stay away from calling her things such as "cute, pretty, princess", etc. 



What I don't understand is what's the big deal if she looks up to these girls?  These princesses are all young teenagers.  Often very nice and kind young ladies.  Helping animals, mean step-sisters, their not-so-nice parents.  So there's a problem with looking up to kind young women? 



Or maybe it's because they marry princes and that's just not real life, unless you're Kate Middleton.  When dating and finding my spouse, I definitely looked for someone who treated me nicely and made me feel important.  Does he treat me like a princess?  That might be pushing it, but he's pretty damn good to me. 



Maybe it's because they wear ridiculous dresses and often go from rags to riches, seemingly overnight.  What child doesn't like to dress up?  We dress up as animals all the time at our house...so what's wrong with putting on Mom's clothes or a fancy dress and pretending to be a princess?



And why is it just girls?  How many boys have boxes full of toys and not one pink item?  Not one doll to play with and pretend with?  It's a bit of a double standard, if you ask me.



We're not surrounded by princesses all the time.  This little lady loves to collect bugs in her bug box, play in the dirt, ride her bike, play on the playground, go skiing, roller skate...she does it all.  But she also gets a bit "girly" in her play and often princesses are involved. 



To me, it's very similar to boys who want to be super-heroes and who play them constantly.  Seems as though super-heroes might not be the best role models as there is often violence involved, in some way.  Yet I'm supposed to shield my daughter from the lure of the sparkles and the tiaras? 

Seems to be a bit of a double standard, in my opinion.  And if you don't have a little girl, but one day might be graced with one in your family?  Good luck keeping the princesses out of your house.  They just have a way of finding their way into your home.



Rock on, princesses. 


 

Ultrasound

Yesterday, we had our one and only ultrasound for this pregnancy!  Aside from the confirmation ultrasound we had around 7-8 weeks, just to make sure all was well in there!

We thought this would be helpful for Neva to realize what we mean when we talk about the baby in my tummy, but she was too busy coloring, tooting and running around to be bothered.  Seriously, it smelled horrendous in there!

Our experience this time was not as much fun as with Neva!  We went to the hospital in Grand Junction, as opposed to the nice little clinic we went to last time.  The tech was not amused by us at all and barely spoke to us.  She pointed out all the important parts, minus what's between the legs, but didn't have much to say.  She barely cracked a smile when Neva stunk up the room.  We only got 4 pictures to take home with us....no CD with gobs of pictures and a video, no 3D or 4D fun either.  It was awesome to see this growing little person, but not what we were anticipating! 

The heartbeat was nice and strong at 153 bpm.  We saw 4 limbs, fingers, toes, closed upper lip, heart, kidneys, blood flow through the umbilical cord....all the important things!

I can't even share the blasted images at this point, as I have to convert them from PDFs first!  Promise, it's a cute little one though!! 

In other news, I'm feeling much better these days!  I really think that exercising has been my saving grace!  I belly dance at least once a week, alternate between some prenatal yoga and other DVDs and spend some time on the elliptical machine so that I am doing something at least 5 days of the week.  And thankfully, my weight gain has plateaued a bit in the past few weeks!  I was starting to get a little worried!!!  But, I'm still blaming it on that blasted progesterone!

I feel like I could sleep approximately 24 hours/day, but usually have to get by on 8 or less.  Eric has been a trooper and usually gets up with Neva, letting me sleep for another 15 minutes each morning!  I also purchased a pregnancy pillow, which has been unbelievably comfortable!  I survived with a body pillow last go 'round, but this thing is the bee's knees!  For real!

And this baby is kicking up a storm!  No one else has been able to feel it yet, but holy moly!  Always happens in the morning and at night and several times throughout the day.  Neva and Eric have both tried to feel the kicks from the outside, but no luck yet!  I can't wait for them to feel it....there's no way to describe how it feels from the inside though!

Only 18.5 weeks until we get to meet this little person!  I cannot wait!





 

20 week update

Now that the cat's out of the bag, I thought I would start updating the world on what's happening with this wee one!

We are planning to do another homebirth with this baby, as long as all goes well and we both remain healthy enough to do so!  We are working with a different midwife this time, as Jasmine will busy with a newborn of her own when our due date rolls around!  Which is June 14, by the way!  We have met with Julieanne a few times now and feel that she is going to be a great fit with our family!  She is one smart cookie and has been delivering babies for nearly 20 years.  She has delivered nearly 1000 babies throughout her career, so she has gobs of experience!

She is very thorough with us at each appointment and spends at least an hour with us answering all of our questions and really talking about how we're feeling.  It's such a nice, personal experience.  We saw her last night and she was so nice when Neva hopped up on the table and pulled her shirt up, asking for her tummy to be measured and to listen to her baby's heartbeat.  She lets Neva help with all the activities of the appointment, including taking my blood pressure, measuring my growing belly and listening to the baby's heart beat.  It's such a nice family experience and I just have to wonder if it would be the same at an OB office.

The baby's heart beat was nice and healthy, in the 150s again last night.  Old wives tales would say that heart rate means it's a girl.  And I had a dream that I came up with the perfect name, Norma, and couldn't wait to tell Eric.  It was a pretty comical dream and he quickly shot down the name.  Neva wants it to be another girl, named Neva....or 2 puppies named Rusty, thanks to the SUPER cute yorkie puppy at daycare.  Luckily, we know it's not a puppy and there's only one baby in there!  And unfortunately, sounds like Neva may be disappointed either way! 

The first 16 weeks of this pregnancy were much more difficult than with Neva!  I have to assume that it was due to the progesterone supplements I was taking, after our miscarriage this summer.  They made me gain weight quickly and made me feel not so hot.  But the last month has been SO much better!  I've been able to exercise almost daily again, don't have the all day "morning" sickness and my gagging has decreased significantly!  That's a really fun side effect of nausea and pregnancy!

Neva is super excited to become a big sister and loves to talk about all of the things that she's going to teach this baby, such as how to nurse and how to talk.  She might be super disappointed when she learns that the baby will not be doing as much as she thinks it should be! 

We have our ultrasound on Monday, February 3.  We will not be finding out the gender...but hope to see a nice, healthy little one growing away in there!  Will share pictures after our appointment!