Christmas

Ah, Christmas. 

This year was tons of fun!  It's been so fun to watch Neva get into this holiday season.  She loves to point out all the lights we see.  She was a little hesitant of Santa after a Homer Santa interaction, but now loves to say "ho ho ho" or "oh oh oh" every time she sees a Santa.  She enjoyed her presents and had to play with or try on every single gift she opened.  Hilarious!

I, on the other hand, had a little bit more difficult of a time getting in to the holiday spirit.  Don't get me wrong, I was beyond elated to have 2 days (in a row!) at home with my little family, but I sure do miss all the family get-togethers back in Kansas.  I've been able to talk to my families during their get-togethers and have done some skype-ing as well, but it's just not the same.  And I miss Kansas most during this time of the year, every year.

And now we're back at work and I find myself in the post-holiday funk.  I would love to figure out a way out of it, but...will probably just pout for a few more days.  Everyone who gets to spend holidays with their extended families complains about the stress of being around so many people...but it sure can feel lonely to be at home, just the 3 of you.  You know?  A super fun-filled day can often be followed with an empty feeling at the end of the day.

But...at the same token, I'm truly blessed.  Being able to spend the holidays with Eric and Neva is amazing.  Much better than the Ski Co days when Eric was at work and I was often home alone!  And Neva?  She's a trip!  The 3 of us, sure had some fun over the past few days together!  They make my heart happy, even when I'm feeling a little sad.

And now the new year is quickly approaching....I don't know why time is moving at warp speed!  I have a few resolutions that I'm going to be working on this year and figured I might as well write them down here, so that I have to be somewhat accountable for them.

1.  Build confidence - I'm not exactly sure how to do this, but I'd like to give it a whirl.  Figure it has something to do with eating right and exercising, but also about being nice to yourself.  Not being so hard on yourself.  So, these are the things I'm going to be working on.

2.  Save some dough - I'm not very good at this, but this is something I need to work on.  That little girl??  She's not cheap.  And I imagine she'll only get to be more expensive so we need to start saving for things like cars, college, weddings, grandbabies, etc. 

3.  Be content - Again, something I need practice at.  During this time of year, it's especially difficult to not find myself being envious of what other's have or wanting more.  What I really want, is to be happy with what life has given me. 

That's my list...at least for now.  Happy end of the year everyone...wishing you all the best in 2012!!

Boobies!

Neva's new word this week....BOOBIES!  She knows that she has them, but not anyone else...and I'd like to keep it that way!  I'm sure this isn't the most appropriate thing for a 15 month old to be saying, but it sure makes me giggle!  I know, I know, we need to start watching what we say around her.  But I just can't help it! 

She's picking up all kinds of new things recently...she loves to lie on her belly and color.

She will shake hands when she meets new people and we say, "Nice to meet you". 

She LOVES to hug our pets.  Specifically Bella and will take her to the ground, but she also likes to hug Risa.  Otis on the other hand, I'm not sure that she knows that he lives at our house.  And since this is for Neva...I thought I'd put up some pics of our beloved pets, so that she'll always remember them!

Bella...showing us just how important she is by sleeping in our bed

Risa all snuggled up on a Boppy

The one, the only...Otis

A new baby started at her daycare and she likes to 'help' with her.  She'll bring her toys that she can't reach, go to her when she cries...quite the little mama hen we have on her hands.  She likes to do the same things at home, with her baby dolls.  She feeds them and helps them go "night night".   It is so amazing to watch her take care of babies.  Really...already?  Where does she come up with this stuff???

Thanksgiving

First of all, I'm a big slacker.  So much for my weekly blog update...guess life just gets in the way. 

Second, it being Thanksgiving and all, I thought I would take a moment to talk about the things that I am thankful for.

1.  Neva.  You are the most amazing addition to our family.  You make us giggle on a daily basis.  I want to spend all of my free time with you, as well as every other minute of my day.  You make us realize what life is truly about and the meaning of unconditional love.  You have only been with us for one short year, but I could not imagine our life without you in it.

2.  Eric.  You are the BEST husband a girl could ever wish for.  You take care of so much stuff around the house, which I never give you enough credit for.  We are a great team.  I am thankful for you everyday, but especially this time of year.  Being away from family during the holidays is hard, but having you to share these days with makes it a little easier.  I am so grateful to have you to share this journey with.  And so thankful that we made such a kick ass kid.

3.  Family.  I love all of my family dearly.  I am so blessed to have such a wonderful support system, even if we live nearly 1000 miles apart.  I can call any of them and they will be there in an instant.  I can call them with anything and they are always there to listen and support me...no matter how crazy I may sound.

4.  Work.  Now don't get me wrong, I don't love my job everyday.  But I am grateful that I, at least, have a job.  And the best part, is that I have amazing co-workers.  They'll let me cry or complain or act like a complete idiot.  For that, I am thankful.  I also enjoy that I have a job that allows me to be part of a team that improves lives for others.  It's nice to have a job that makes you feel good...and where you get to see super cute kids all the time. 

Thanks to all of YOU for being a part of my life. 

Babysitter

I'm a bit embarrassed about how long it's been since I've written anything.  What can I say?  Life has been CRAZY lately.  Excuses, excuses....

We did meet a huge milestone this weekend.  We left Neva with a sitter for THE VERY FIRST TIME!  Well, other than the 4 days each week she's at daycare...this was the first time we've gone out and left her home with a babysitter.  Luckily, we have found an extremely responsible 17 year old gal to watch our precious one.  And, I must admit, it went splendidly!  I was extremely anxious for about the first hour we were out, but my anxiety lowered and we were able to have a nice evening out.  Several beers didn't hurt, either.  And Neva loved her!  She was telling us 'bye-bye' before we were even ready to leave!  Guess you can't ask for much more than that!  And...we came home to a clean house!  Dishes done and put away, toys picked up, baby sleeping soundly...  All in all, it was a good night!  We'll have to do it again!

Photos

Lately, I've been feeling like I'm just rambling about things on here.  So I thought I would change it up today and post some pictures!  Just a few that are on my phone...but photos none-the-less.

Sporting a cute outfit from Mo-Mo, carrying both drinks...and WALKING!

Eating a little breakfast!

Again...the eating.  But check those big brown eyes!

Trying to buckle herself into her chair!

Snoozin' away on the way home from Kansas!

Chatterbox!

Much to everyone's surprise, I'm sure, this little lady is quite the chatterbox!  I say it's surprising because Eric and I are both so quiet and soft-spoken!  Ha!! 

She has quite the vocabulary going and says the following:
Bella (our cat and a friend at daycare)
Dog
Mama
Dada
Uh oh
Wow (this is relatively new and quite funny!)
Eyes

She also really likes to make animal sounds and can do all of these:
Monkey
Elephant
Pig
Lion
Bunny (she wiggles her nose and breathes loudly at the same time...hilarious!)

She is trying to learn to whistle and thinks it is beyond funny when Eric and I do it!  She is also a pro at giving kisses and will pucker up and lean in for a kiss.  She is also into giving hugs, which just slays me!  She is quite the affectionate little lady!

We were able to go back to Kansas for my cousin's wedding over the weekend and learned that she is also quite the party animal!  She loved the lights from the DJ booth and the loud music!  Once the music started, she could not sit still.  She was dragging anyone she could get ahold of all over the dance floor.  And when people would sing along to the music, she would chime in as well.  Too funny, this one, too funny!

I love you, Neva!

13 months

I have decided to stop pumping, as of today. 

I'm going to continue to nurse, but am so over the pumping.  I'm feeling a little torn about it, but know that it will be fine.  She really only needs it if I'm not home, but we can supplement that with cow milk...Right?  Here's hoping...

And good riddance, pump.  I will not miss the hours that you and I have spent together over the past 13 months.

1 year stats

Neva had her 1 year check-up on Wednesday!  She continues to be one healthy girl!!!  Here are her stats:

18 lbs. 9 oz.  (25th percentile)
29 inches (50th percentile)
Didn't tell me her head circumference, but that is also in the 25th percentile

Can you tell who she is built like?  Maybe if I tell you that she can almost wear a size 3 shoe (tiny!), that will tell you that she is built EXACTLY like her Dad!  What a lucky little girl!!!

They also checked her hemoglobin and we learned that she is not anemic!  Good news all around!  :)  This wee one is also working on tooth #12.  Although I'm pretty sure I felt that it was through last night, hard to tell for sure when she won't open her mouth for me to see and just wants to chomp on my finger when it's in her mouth! 

And???  She has been taking some steps by herself.  Last night she would take about 4 before she would stop for a dance break.  Seriously, she just stands and bounces.  Hilarious, I tell you. 

This little girl is growing like a weed.  I can't believe how big she is getting!  Nor can I believe that she is already over a year old!  And I really can't believe the independence she is showing...where in the world did she get that? 

I love her.  SO.  MUCH.

One Year Old

Last weekend we celebrated Neva's 1st birthday.  I really can't believe she's already one.  The past year really flew by.

Sunday was filled with lots of laughs, a few tears and many, many memories from a year ago.  We could look at the clock and talk about what we were doing the year before. 

Even since then, we can talk about what we were doing a year ago.  What was going on this week?  Who was here to see us?  It's been so much fun...and I hope we can continue to remember that day so fondly. 

We celebrated with a get-together at a park here in town.  Family and friends were able to join us for a BBQ and some cupcakes.  It was so great to see so many people come together to celebrate Neva's first birthday.  We truly are blessed.

Happy birthday, to my sweet baby girl!  I love you more and more everyday!

Due Date

A year ago today was my due date.  I was impatient and anxious for this little baby to arrive.

Now?  Now I just want time to slow down.

Next week she will be one.  How in the world did a year pass? 

In another 5 minutes, she'll be 18. 

Being A Mom

I love being a Mom with my whole being.  That little girl makes my heart burst with happiness every single time I look at her.  Even if it's for an hour and a half in the middle of the night.  Okay, maybe not at that moment...but just seconds after as I'm falling back asleep.  I love her to bits.  And I seriously can't imagine my life without her in it.

However, there are parts of motherhood that I'm not a fan of.  And I apologize if I sound like a broken record, some of these things I am obviously struggling with a lot.

I hate that I now drive a "mom" car.

I hate that I'm now sporting a "mom" haircut.

I hate that I had to buy a "mom" swimsuit. 

I also hate how said swimsuit looks on my "mom" body. 

As much as I HATE these things, I love this girl even more.  I wouldn't trade anything in the world for her.  She makes me happy.  I mean, look at her...

Holy Moly

Miss Neva Mae is 11 months old today.  I have been getting increasingly emotional about her upcoming birthday as each day passes.  How in the world has it been almost a year already???

There's a sweet gal at work who shares my due date.  Watching her during this time brings back so many memories.  The anxiety, the preparing, the waiting...it's so fun to watch someone at the exact same point we were at one year ago.

And Miss Neva?  She is TOO much. 

She loves to eat now, I mean LOVES to eat.  And I love to watch her try new foods.  Hate them in the first bite and then devour them shortly after.  Hilarious, I tell you.  We're also trying to get her off a bottle and onto a cup with a straw.  She loves to drink water and tiny bits of prune juice (when needed)...but throw some milk in there?  Whoa, does she refuse!  I'm sure this will change, but yesterday she would take a few swallows and then spit out the rest of the milk.

She's also becoming quite vocal.  She loves to squawk and squeal with delight.  But is also getting very loud with her protests.  It is quite funny and rather challenging to not laugh at these outbursts!  She is also starting to do lots of imitating and was even trying to imitate my pretty kick-ass elephant sound this morning.  Mommo (aka Grandma) reports that she was trying several other animal sounds throughout the day.  Love it!  She will say: mama, dada, hi, bye, dog, cat and baby.  Awesome!

She is so close to standing and walking, it's ridiculous!  She can cruise along the furniture and will occasionally let go to move to another section of the couch.  At the pool the other day, she stood for several seconds on her own.  She will also go from crawling into a downward dog position, but just can't get all the way upright yet.  She can book it up the stairs faster than fast!  Coming down, she hasn't figured out yet...but it sure is funny to watch her try! 

I just love her so much.  SO MUCH!

Mountain Fair

One year ago tonight I was dancing with my favorite dancing buddy.  Tonight though?  Tonight, I go it alone.  I'm a little more nervous as I can't just stand there and be pregnant if I forget what I'm doing and have people in awe over almost 9 month pregnant body still dancing! 

Last year...

Looking forward to have my tiniest fan in the audience!  She loved dancing with me...wonder what she'll think of it all from the outside!!!  And her Dad is quite possibly my biggest fan...looking forward to having him there as well.  Love you guys!

Hallelujah!

I know this is a little premature, but I didn't get out of bed once last night! 

Eric and I were near our wits end with this sleep business.  On Monday I did the 'pick up put down' method.  She seriously screamed for an hour and a half.  And I picked her up and put her down 37 times...then I lost count.

Last night we did some research and decided we needed to give her a chance to put herself back down.  I said I couldn't let her cry for more than 5 minutes and that was our agreement.  Five minutes, then go check it out.  As we turned out the lights after reading a bit, she started to stir.  She kind of whined for about a minute, maybe two...and then she was lying back down!  VICTORY!!!  She did this a couple more times throughout the night, two times I think...maybe three.  I didn't get a great night of sleep as I was checking the monitor frequently.  BUT....I didn't get out of bed.  Not once.  And definitely not for an hour and a half in the middle of the night! 

And...she woke up in a great mood!  Just talking away to let us know she was awake!  I feel that she was actually rested when she woke up and not feeling already groggy from a night of terrible sleep.  And?  She was hungry!  Sometimes it's a challenge to get her to nurse or eat any breakfast before leaving the house for the day...but not today! 

I feel like the three of us have really accomplished something here.  I had no idea how hard it would be to teach someone such seemingly basic things...and things that I look forward to several times throughout the day.  Sleeping and eating!  On the other hand, I feel that I could have helped this situation months ago, as I have been getting up the moment I hear her stir.  Does she need to eat?  Does she need a diaper change?  Does she need to be held?  We've done it all...being up every hour, having her get up just once a night, etc.  But now?  Now we know she can go through the night without eating, she can put herself back to bed...and we can all get a little more sleep and be a little more rested!

Thank you, sweet baby girl!!!  I feel like a brand new person today!!

10 months

I'm such a slacker...and that's so disappointing to me!!  Life has just gotten busy.  Busy beyond belief!

Neva is crawling up a storm.  Her first attempts were for an outlet and an electrical cord.  Really?  Guess someone was right on when they made all those childproofing products!  She also likes to pull up to stand on anything and everything in sight.  Once she's upright, she likes to practice her dance moves, which include some pretty darn good hip circles and this funny little booty dance.  Seriously, have to get that one on camera.  It even comes out at night when I pat her little buns to sleep.  When she wants me to do it more, she shakes her butt (kind of like Kendra for anyone else who watches crappy reality TV such as 'The Girls Next Door').

She's become an eating machine.  Loving green beans, peas, sweet potato, squash, avocado, carrots, rice cereal and pasta, almost any kind of puff or cracker and now cheese!  Has to be my child, I tell you!  Cheese, crackers and avocados?!?!  We just can't seem to convince her that fruit is yummy...we're still working on that though!  And her new trick is drinking from a straw.  Pretty funny to watch this tiny tot drink out of any cup with a straw.  And I taught her to say, "ah" after drinking, which I thought was hilarious...until she started doing it while nursing, too! 

She likes to 'sing' and dance when we listen to music.  Hilarious, I tell you.  She babbles all the time at home, but gets somewhat shy when out and public and isn't nearly as vocal.  More of an observer in a new situation or around new people, much like her mama.  She's also using a few words regularly, 'mama' and 'dada'.  And we will swear that we've heard, 'cat' and 'dog' a few times over the last few weeks. 

Neva is also going through quite the separation anxiety right now.  Not AT ALL when I leave her at Ronda's in the morning, but almost every time she goes to sleep.  Nap times have become a disaster.  She will avoid sleep like the plague.  Screaming and screeching to get us to come in there.  Same thing in the middle of the night.  She wakes once and all is well, eats and back down.  But then she's added in another awake time...and it is terrible!  We've been up for nearly an hour and a half for that one almost every night for the past week.  SERENITY NOW!!!  I've been reading and reading and most people say that this will just pass.  Let's hope that happens sooner than later!

She is amazing...everyday it's something new.  I love it.  This sleep deprivation business is no joke, but I know that this will be short lived.  I just can't wait to be on the other side of it!!! 

Will post pictures soon....you have to see this little lady!

Vicious Cycle

Lately I feel as though my life is one big vicious cycle...

Neva doesn't sleep...

Then I'm tired and exhausted...

Then I don't want to exercise....

Then my self-esteem gets a little lower...

And my energy level gets a little lower...

Then I tend to snack a bit more...

Then I get discouraged...

Then my clothes still don't fit and I still don't like the number on the scale...

I miss my sweet baby who was sleeping so long that I got 'in trouble' with our pediatrician and told to wake her up for more night feedings. I miss the sweet angel who would sleep from 7:00pm until 5:30am, wake for a snack and then go right back to bed until 7:00am. I'm not sure if it's teething or a growth spurt or if she just wants to hang out...but I miss sleeping. I am not a fan of getting up at 6:00am every single day of the week. I miss the days of sleeping until noon or napping whenever I felt like it. Eric and I often joke about what it was like to not feel tired all the time. To sleep until 11:00am.


I knew this part of motherhood, getting my body back to normal, would be a challenge.  I just didn't know it would be this difficult.  I miss the confidence I had prior to all the changes my body has endured over the last year and a half.  My self esteem wasn't great, but it sure beat where we are today.  I know, I know...I have a wonderful, sweet, beautiful baby to show for it...but I still don't like this part.  Honestly, I thought it would be a little easier.  Everyone said the weight would all just melt off, and maybe a little extra, since I'm nursing.  Well, that is a crock.  It's way harder than that!!!!  Especially since I have recently been told that I need to consume 2700 calories a day to keep my milk supply up to par.  Bleh.

I am not intending to sound all whiny, but after watching a recent Dateline with 3 year old girls talking about being fat, I have vowed to not say these things out loud...especially in Neva's presence.  So, to get it out of my system, I had to write it out.  That show was extremely disturbing...little girls making fun of each other, talking about fat tummies...did you know there is actually a diagnosis of Infantile Anorexia?  I will not raise my daughter to have body issues and low self esteem.  I want to empower her and give her the confidence that I don't have.

Sweet baby girl, please know that you are beautiful and smart.  Beauty is not measured in the size of your waist or the number on a scale.  It is measured by what's on the inside...and I promise to raise you to recognize that and not worry about the rest.  And I, in turn, will work on accepting what my shell looks like and focus mostly on what's on the inside.

 

9 months

Holy Moly....I can't even believe how long it has been since I have written anything!  Not that I have anything ground-breaking to share, but I had committed to keeping this up to date for family and friends who live far away so I need to keep up!!!

And now I say, DAMN IT!  I started this last weekend...but then life happened.  And here it is, a whole week later and I'm still not sure I'll be able to finish this post tonight!

Here goes nothin'...

This little lady is amazing.  Crawling.  Standing while holding on to something.  Trying with all her might to pull to stand.  Chucking her pacifier out of her crib to get us to come back in just one more time.  Amazing, I tell you.  Just amazing.

Life has been busy, to say the least.  My job has been extremely demanding this month.  I hate every June at my job, but this one takes the cake.  And we're only half-way through!  And Eric's schedule continues to be extremely helpful yet extremely difficult.  And this week we found out that our amazing Miss Ronda is moving at the end of July.  And so we start the hunt for a new daycare once again.  What I wouldn't give to be independently wealthy so that I could stay home and play with that amazing gal every single day.

Since I'm in a bit of a grumpy place, again, I'm going to zip it and just share some photos. 

Riding her new toy

Learning to stand!

 Swinging with Dad

An older one, but so cute....Mother's Day

First trip to the pool, thanks Janet!

Enjoying the Strawberry Days parade

One of those days...

I am having one of those days...you know, where everything seems to bother you for no particular reason?  I cried to a co-worker when I got to work...stress does funny things to you!  Can't even pinpoint the one thing that is bothering me, just seems to be everything all at once!  Hopefully the sun actually shining today will help turn this frown upside down.  I don't like feeling this way or bringing those around me down.  And even when I say I'm going to make a conscious effort to be happier and not be bogged down by these things...I let myself get bogged down.  Add to that, a handful of sleepless nights...and it's a recipe for a meltdown here and there!

Our sweet little Neva has caught a bit of a cold or something, which has resulted in a few nights with very little sleep.  She was doing such a great job of sleeping from 7:00pm until 5:30am, waking only for a quick snack and then back to bed until about 7:00am.  Almost 12 hours of blissful sleep for that little lady.  Then we went to Kansas.  And a couple more teeth popped through...that's right a couple.  She's working on number 7 right now.  And now?  Now she's back to waking up 2-3 times/night.  And this mama???  Is exhausted!  But I know we'll get through this phase and then she'll be back to sleeping longer periods at a time and I'll be back to worrying about whether or not she's okay! 

One of the main stressors right now is milk!  Who knew nursing could be so stressful!?!?  I went out of town at the end of April and had to pump like a crazy person to try to keep up with her.  It seems that we were heating up milk wrong at home.  Cooking it too long and too hot so that it would go bad.  We threw out bags and bags and more bags of milk, thinking it was going bad somehow...not realizing what was actually happening.  So about 5 days worth of milk was eventually tossed.  Now I could really use those bags of milk!  We gave her 3 bottles of formula to help me get caught up and I hated all 3 of them.  I cried about it even.  Not that it's that big of a deal, but I wanted to avoid it at all costs.  Instead of continuing that path, I'm trying to make more milk.  I've been instructed to pump 5 times a day for 25 minutes.  That's just over 2 hours of my day spent hooked up to a machine...barf.  I've been told to increase my fluid intake.  To increase my calories to 2700/day (not going to help with the weight loss).  And so far, we haven't seen a change....but I'm hopeful that things will get better and I'll be able to keep up with Little Miss!

Who, by the way, is quite hilarious these days!  She is doing this funny little noise with her nose, kind of like a bunny and it kills me every time!!!  Here's a little video....sorry, don't know how to rotate it!  Grrrr.

She is also doing a lot of babbling, which is fun to hear!  Can't wait to hear the things that come out of this little lady's mouth!  I have a feeling she's going to be quite the character!  She's always making new sounds and I can't get enough of her!

She continues to army crawl to get around, which is quite comical.  She is also practicing standing and will stand while holding on to the couch or anything else she can get her hands on!  She wants to practice this all the time!! 

She is so much fun right now!!!  Just keeps getting better everyday! 

Mother's Day

Sunday was a day I had been looking forward to for about 8 months!  I have been so excited to celebrate motherhood, 'for real' this year!  I tried not to have expectations about the day, especially since our schedule has recently changed and Eric has been working weekends so that he could have 2 days off during the week at home with Neva.  Wasn't going to let that bother me, nope, not one little bit!  We went up to the caverns and had lunch with Eric and the Meager family, which was nice.  But I'm not gonna lie, yesterday was disappointing...for reasons I will keep to myself for now.

However, the best part of the day was snuggling with Neva on the couch while she napped.  That made the whole day better.  Especially because now that she is getting bigger, she's not always in to snuggling with Mom (a look into my future, I'm sure)...but I loved every minute of it.

Thank you, Neva, for making me a Mom.  And thanks for making my day.

I love you more than you'll ever know!

8 months

I have recently spent my first few nights away from Neva.  It was harder than I could have imagined.  However, we had help from 2 Grandmas and of course, her wonderful Dad, so I know she was in more than capable hands!  It didn't help matters that she said her first "mama" the day before I left or that after talking to her on speakerphone, she cried "mama".  Heartwrenching, I tell you.

She has also recently started crawling or scooting!  She isn't using her legs much yet, but sure can pull herself around.  It is so amazing!!!  She is getting SO big!

She is getting much better at sleeping - waking only once or twice each night!  And she usually just eats and then right back down for the night!  So much easier than getting up every hour or two. 

And she is really starting to enjoy food.  She leans in and takes bites, rather than blowing raspberries as soon as the spoon gets near her mouth.  She also REALLY likes to feed herself puffs, which just makes me giggle!  She has also started to really like practicing drinking from a cup and from a straw.  Such a smart kid!

Bath time is one of her favorites and she is so funny to see in the tub!  Has become one of my favorite times of the day, for sure!  The whole bedtime routine actually...the bath, the lotion rub down, the feeding, the snuggling up to read a book, the lullaby where she almost falls asleep in my arms every night.  I am so totally in love.

Eating!!!!

For us, eating has not been the easiest task.

In the beginning, nursing was the most painful thing I'd ever done.  But, I'd always heard it was painful, so I went with it.  Little did I know that it was not supposed to bring on toe curling pain every time she ate.  I would get upset and cry, she would get upset and cry.  It would take forever for her to eat, part of which is normal for newborns, but part of it caused by the fact that it was so difficult for her to eat.  I endured some incredible damage, which was upsetting as well.  We were under close watch by Jasmine and our pediatrician, as she wasn't gaining weight well and took a long time to get back to her birth weight.

At about 3 weeks old, we had a horrible day...one of the worst days of my life.  She went on a sort of eating strike, but not because she wasn't hungry, because we couldn't do it right.  She was miserable and inconsolable...and I felt terrible and helpless.  I finally pumped and had massive amounts of milk.  I really think our living room was covered in milk.  But I pumped and put it in a bottle, and she sucked it down so fast, I was amazed.  I called our local La Leche League where I was told all kinds of things that I was doing wrong.  I was waiting too long to feed her.  She was obviously starving.  Horrible, horrible things they were telling me.  I called my wonderful midwife, Jasmine, and she told me to try the Lactation Consultant at the hospital.  I was nervous and scared and convinced I should just know how to do this and would eventually figure it out because that was what I was supposed to do. 

However, the very next day...I went to the hospital.  As a side note, we were supposed to be heading to Kansas on this very day for a dear friend's wedding.  I ended up missing the wedding because we got away so late that day and still feel guilty about it!  However...we met with Kim, and she was amazing.  She saw what I had done to my body trying to feed Neva and she was amazed.  Amazed at the damage that was done, amazed that I was still trying to breastfeed, amazed that I hadn't given up.  I cried and she hugged me.  I cried and she showed me how to do it correctly.  It was amazing.  It didn't hurt.  I hardly even noticed that she was eating.  And after one feeding?  She had already gained 3 ounces.  It was amazing.  I cried and hugged Kim some more.  She truly is one smart cookie.

And now, at 7 months we've had some trouble with eating again.  Actually, I guess it started at 6 months when we started to introduce 'solids'.  I was determined that I would make all of her baby food....wholesome, delicious, organic baby food.  We started with rice...brown rice.  She ate a few bites and seemed to do okay with it.  Several days later was butternut squash, even later were peas, later still bananas, then pears and eventually sweet potatoes.  She tried the rice a few times and some of the others a few times.  I even bought some jarred foods, thinking it was the way I had prepared it.  Still nothing.  So, I called an OT to come look.  She told us she had an aversion to food and gave us some ideas of things to try to get her to enjoy eating.  We tried these...and still nothing.  Finally, I decided to just start all over, from the beginning.  I bought some boxed rice cereal, mixed it with lots and lots of milk and gave it another try.

She DEVOURED it.  Pulling the bowl to her.  Trying to grab the spoon to get it in her mouth faster than I was moving.  I was elated!  Who knew eating could be so difficult for little ones, who knew I would stress so much about the food.  Who knew that when she ate, I would feel so much joy.  And who knew someone could look so cute eating!!  (Please excuse my ridiculous face).

And just for fun...here are my two favorite people on Easter!  Neva and I took the tram up to see Dad at work and we ran in to the Easter bunny!!!  Pics of that to come...

Stay At Home Mom

I have realized over the past 7 months, but this week especially, that I long to be a stay at home Mom. 

Our first few weeks were extremely difficult and I didn't love my maternity leave for this reason.  However, I am convinced that this is because we had such a hard time with breastfeeding in the beginning.  It was hard, I was exhausted, she cried a lot, I cried a lot, I curled my toes EVERY time she wanted to eat.  Dont' get me wrong, I enjoyed my time bonding with Neva...but it was hard.  Probably the hardest 6 weeks of my life. 

But now?  Now I want to be able to stay at home and spend my days with her.  I got to take yesterday off, due to our daycare provider being on vacation, but it just made me want to spend my days with her even more.  I never knew how much I would want to be a stay at home Mom.  It's hard work, it's a thankless job, but it's also the BEST job in the whole world.

It makes it easier that she nurses in about 10 minutes, she laughs ALL the time, she's rolling, she's pushing off things, she's doing something new and something more amazing every time I turn around.  And her smile?  Her hugs?  Her big sloppy kisses?  These are the best moments of my day....and I want more of them! 

7 months

Again, I say, where has the time gone?  I wonder if I will ever stop saying that?!?!

Alas, we now have a 7 month old little girl and I truly can't believe that!  And we have had quite a busy month...

Neva was baptized on March 27th. We haven't found a church that we truly love here and we wanted to be able to have family present, so we had it done while we were in Kansas. She was baptized at the same church we were married in, by the same sweet man who married us. It was so great. The majority of our families were able to be there, too, which was awesome.  We also had our first professional photo shoot and the pictures turned out awesome!  I will post some as soon as I get a digital copy...there are fantastic!


As I stated, we traveled back to Kansas again and she was a trooper! We made it nearly halfway, driving until almost midnight. Thanks to the Little River Band's song Lonesome Loser, she awoke with quite a jolt and could not be calmed in the car. She had a fabulous weekend spent with family, celebrating Elliott's first birthday and her baptism. She was obviously exhausted when we left on Monday morning, as she slept for about 10 hours of our 14 hour drive.

She continues to be a very healthy little girl!  We've had an occasional cold, but only one that really put us to the test.  She had conjunctivitis, but I'm still not convinced she actually had it!  She continues to gain weight and grow right on schedule...75th percentile for height, 25th percentile for weight and 50th percentile for head circumference.  She is definitely built like her Dad....lucky, lucky girl!

She has started doing so much more in the past month.  She is rolling everywhere!  I put her on a blanket, go do xyz, come back and she's in a complete different part of the room.  She's sitting up on her own for quite a long time.  She will still topple over once in awhile, but not often!  She is also getting up on all 4s and I'm certain she will be crawling in no time!  Time to install baby gates...

And my favorite new trick?  Laughing!  She has the best laugh and it just melts my heart EVERY time I hear it!  She laughs mostly when being tickled and you can't help but laugh right along with her.  She also is squealing and squawking with delight, another fantastic trait!  Her personality is really emerging and it is so fun to see which traits she has picked up from each of us.  She is a riot! 

This being a parent business is hard work, but it is truly the most rewarding and amazing thing I have ever done.  I keep falling more and more in love every day....

Friday Night Foto Update

I haven't had much time to write anything lately. But thought I'd wet your whistles with some recent photos. Will try to give you a 'verbal' update tomorrow...when I have more energy!

Happenings...

So, obviously we have been super busy at our house...hence the big gap since my last post!

Neva is, to put it simply, a rock star! She had a terrible cold that kept all of us up for a whole weekend. And since then? Since then she's been sleeping through the night several nights, or waking up ONCE after not moving one inch for 8-9 straight hours. It is AMAZING!! (And I better not jinx this new trend by talking about it!) But it is unbelievable how much better one can feel getting several hours of sleep...in a row!

She has tried rice cereal, butternut squash and peas over the past few weeks. Not a huge fan of any of them, but if she's anything like her Mom and Dad she'll be loving food in no time! In the meantime, it sure is funny to watch her try to figure out what in the world we are doing to her!

She is rolling everywhere! Funny how you get so excited for them to do all these new things...and then you wonder why in the world you want them to! I miss the days of diaper changes being so simple! And know that it will only get more difficult from here on out! She is also doing some sitting on her own, more in the hunched over, checking out her toes position. But she gets upright for a few seconds here and there...we're working on it!

And I swear she's giving hugs! She gets so excited when we arrive at Miss Ronda's in the morning that she squeals as we're walking in the door. And then, when I pass her off to Ronda, she wraps her little arms around her neck and squeezes. And...she does this when I pick her up in the afternoon. It's so precious!

It's amazing what a different perspective you have on life with a little sleep! Thank you, Neva!!!

6 months

Today, my sweet little Neva is 6 months old! Where in the world has that time gone?

She is doing all kinds of new things!!! She is rolling all over the place..tummy to back, back to tummy, repeat, repeat, repeat! Diaper changing is a whole new ball game with these new skills! She also has 2 teeth on the bottom, which she loves to practice using while nursing...ouch! And we'll be starting her on "solid" foods tomorrow! Our first food will be rice cereal, which is all made and ready to go! I know it's not necessary, but it is a very low allergy food so that's what we'll be starting with!

This whole food thing is a little bitter-sweet to me. So far, she's gotten all of her 15 (!!) pounds from me, in one way or another. The first half in utero and the second half from my milk. So I have been able to take full credit for those amazing cheeks. Starting tomorrow, that will not be the case. Which is totally fine, it's just a little strange to me!

We also had our first experience with medication for babies...what a treat that is!! And we only were doing eye drops for possible conjunctivitis!! Do not look forward to any more of that!! :)

Neva also has a new friend at daycare who is just one week younger than her. I met her and her mom at the breast feeding chat group at the hospital. We quickly learned that they would be in the same daycare setting...too fun! It is so cute to watch these 2 little girls together...adorable! They have been holding hands when I have gotten there at the end of the day. May or may not have been intentional, but adorable none-the-less!

Continue to be so grateful for such an amazing and healthy baby!!! And having the best husband a gal could hope for. I am truly, truly lucky!!!!

Moment of Weakness

Lately I've been thinking about my whole labor and birth experience....and about being a new mom. While I think Neva's birth was amazing, I have been wondering more and more about how the others feel about it. I hate this about myself, but I am a people pleaser...and am always concerned with how others view me.

Do they think I was too loud? Do they think I was a wuss? Do they think I could have done it better? If so, how? Do they think I did it wrong? Are they even thinking about this at all?

And what do people think now? Are they commenting on Neva's super sweet chubby cheeks and thinking she's too big? Are they judging me for not having all the weight off yet? Are they judging the decisions we make as a family? Do they think I am weak for giving in and giving her a pacifier? Or judging the things that we think are best???

I hate that I even think about this...I mean, really? Who cares? I had a baby, at home, with no pain meds. And she is amazing. She is healthy and happy and beautiful!

I mean, look at her...

Dear Magic Sleep Fairy

Dear Magic Sleep Fairy,

Please, oh please, let Neva sleep more during the night. She was an amazing sleeper...even requiring me to set an alarm so I could wake her up to feed her as a newborn. But now, as of a few weeks ago, she has decided that 3:00am is playtime. And will play, play, play for an hour...or two...or three.

She still wakes up happy as a clam. But, this Mom? This Mom cannot function on 3 hours of sleep.

Thanking you in advance for a wonderful night of sleep,
Sarah

My job

I don't often dislike my job.

But today? Today is one of those days that I do. It makes me question mankind and wonder how one person could possibly hurt another person.

How can a mother/father hurt their child?

How can a daycare provider hurt a child that a parent is trusting to watch over and take care of their child, while they are unable to?

How can a husband or wife hurt their spouse?

I just don't get it. I'm glad I don't get it. But it breaks my heart into one million tiny little pieces for those who do get it. And who are living with it everyday.

Eviction Notice

When I was waiting (impatiently) for sweet little Neva's arrival, I was instructed that an eviction notice was in order to get things moving.

Now five months later she is here and wonderful, beautiful, thriving, awesome...everything a girl could ask for.

But this baby weight? Not so much a fan of it. I have a big belly dance show and amazing workshop(s) coming up...and I would really like you to be gone for that.

So baby weight (and then some), this is your eviction notice. You MUST be gone by the end of April. Our relationship has been great, but I am now done with you.

NYC

We had a BLAST in NYC. I have never really thought of myself as a city girl, but I sure could see myself enjoying the big city!

Neva was amazing on the plane to NYC...she cried during the landing of our second flight, but other than that was amazing! We arrived late, ate and hit the hay. On our first day in NY, Eric had to work so Neva and I stuck around the hotel. I was being a bit of a wuss, intimidated by the big city. It was snowy and she napped a lot, but in hindsight I sure wish I had gone out and about with her. We did catch a cab on our own and met Eric and the employees from the J1 company he was working with for a great dinner at a fancy French restaurant. Delicious! They even had a bathroom attendant...don't think I've ever eaten in a restaurant with a person kicking it in the bathroom before.

On our second day we saw:
Times Square
Chrysler Building
Empire State Building
Rockefeller Center
Macy's
Central Park
St. Patrick's Cathedral
Grand Central Station
Grenwich Village
Radio City Music Hall

We also went on our first Subway ride and it was nothing like I expected! It is actually a very nice, fast and seemingly safe way to get around the city! We spent the day with our good friend, Sophia, which was awesome...and she was a great tour guide! I also got to sit in on a NY belly dance class and ate some amazing food! We ate at an Irish Pub for lunch...corned beef sandwich and a Black and Tan for me. Then we went to this hole in the wall Polish restaurant, Stage, for dinner and it was one of the best meals I've EVER had.

We were also stopped by a reporter from Extra! who wanted our opinion on a new John Travolta movie. I had just said I wanted to be on TV when they stopped us! Sadly, I had absolutely NO idea what they were talking about!

And, we stopped outside The Palace Hotel as a bunch of guys were standing around. Turns out they were waiting for the Miami Heat to walk out. We waited for a bit, hoping to catch a glimpse of some gigantic fellas, but no such luck. We walked half a block to a coffee shope where we ran into Mario Chalmers, who plays for the Heat and previously for KU. Eric chatted with him for a few minutes and wished him luck for the game...think this was the highlight of the trip for Eric!

The next day, we saw:
The Statue of Libery (from afar, as well as Ellis Island)
FAO Schwarz
Central Park...again
The Plaza Hotel
Wall Street
Ground Zero
We had appetizers, beer, wine and dinner at Allie and Steve's sweet apartment! They were so sweet to watch interact with Neva. And their apartment?!?! Has the sweetest view of the city...amazing! It was great to be able to catch up with some good friends while we were in town!!!

We had big plans for lots of souvenir shopping on our final day, but Neva had other plans....diapers, eating, etc. That stuff all comes first!! And then we headed back to CO. It was an amazing vacation...I absolutely loved our visit and can't wait to go back!

Tooth!!!

How did I not mention this last night??? Must have been the complete exhaustion...

However, yesterday morning as we were hanging out in the Grand Junction airport, I stuck my finger in little Neva's mouth to see if all this drool was producing anything...and sure enough one of her bottom teeth is now poking through! How in the world is this possible? Why in the world do they have to grow so quickly? How is this absolutely amazing and heart wrenching at the same time? And how did this amazing little girl pop a tooth with no warning? We haven't used any teething gel since my last post about teething and our night of being up every 30 minutes. Absolutely nothing since then.

Amazing, I tell you. Absolutely amazing!

New York

We made it!!!

Our very full day of travel was pretty darn good...except for the last 15 minutes of our last flight. Poor little Neva had enough by this point!! But she was a trooper today, for sure!

And now we are here, fed and ready for bed. We are staying in a cute little hotel with an amazing view of the Empire State Building outside from our snowy little balcony. Truly amazing. I am beyond excited for this trip to continue!!

More to come...

Leaving...

on a jet plane!!! We are headed on our first vacation as a family tomorrow and I am beyond excited! We're going to New York!!! Eric has to go for work, but Neva and I get to tag along. And I can't wait! We're also going to get to catch up with some of my girlfriends and hopefully take in a belly dance class while we're there. And of course do some serious sight-seeing!!

On another note, Eric turned 30 last week and we celebrated with some sledding this weekend. A good time was had by all...and 30 isn't looking so bad these days. Good thing, as we're counting down the last few months until I join that club as well!

Neva continues to be amazing! She's learning to sleep without being swaddled and is handling that change like a champ! She was also exposed to the flu last week at daycare and came through that with flying colors...not even the tiniest resemblance of feeling ill...such a healthy little gal!

She is SO close to rolling over from her back to her tummy. She kicks her legs straight up in the air and pushes them over so that she is completely on her side. She turns her head to face the other direction...if only that bottom arm didn't get in the way! I'm so excited for her to reach this milestone...but really can't believe my little baby is almost 5 months old and ready to be doing things like this!

Off to pack to see the concrete jungle I've heard so much about...

Teething

There are countless amazing moments of being a parent. She smiles, she laughs, she coos, she fake coughs because she thinks it's funny, she thinks I am a goddess, she looks deep into my soul and she loves me unconditionally.

And then...then there is teething.

Last week at Neva's 4 month check-up, we were informed that she is in fact teething. Seems early, I know, but guess it's totally normal to start at this age. And then the madness began...for 3 nights she was up every 30 minutes to 2 hours. The fact that she has been such a great sleeper has made this change even more difficult....she has been getting up 1-2 times a night for the past several weeks.

It was insanely difficult to function on that very small amount of sleep.

And this is just the beginning....

4 months

First of all, how did that happen!?!?!

Our little Neva is now 4 months old! And she is thriving! We took her in for her well child check-up today and she weighed in at 12 lbs. 14 oz. - up 5 lbs. 7 oz. from her birth weight! And she is 25 inches long, up 4 from birth!! Luckily for her, she's built like her Dad...tall and skinny!!

I swear she gets more and more fun every single day! She has really started laughing, which is unbelievable! Tonight as I was trying to put her to bed, she just wanted to talk and laugh. How can you not give in to that? She babbled and giggled back and forth with me for a good 5 minutes. Melts my heart.

She is really enjoying her activity mats. She likes to see what's going on abover her and also LOVES to be on her tummy and check out the stuff on the mat. She also likes to play with the toys hanging from her papisan chairs and has really started batting at them, grabbing them and talking to them.

She has also rolled a few more times, which is really cool for us to watch! She is also kicking her legs like crazy and likes to practice standing. She is such a strong girl! She also likes to push WAY up on her arms when on her tummy...stong, strong!

She is just amazing, I tell you. If you haven't met her yet, get your buns over here and kiss these big ol' cheeks!


And this is just cute...Neva skyping with her Aunt Mandy and Cousin Elliott


And lastly, Baby Neva amongst the Christmas craziness